Well, just after I posted the earlier blog James called home. I talked to him about what was going on. He is totally against ADD medicine as I have been for so many years. I told him that I just couldn't ignore the symptoms anymore. He wants to try "him talking to her one more time" before we proceed. I said ok.
I went to the school to pick KL up and stopped by the office. The results from our quizzes were in. Mine showed "Moderate need" and the teacher's showed "Mild need". I said I didn't want to proceed any further until James had a chance to talk to KL and came home where we could all sit down and talk about it together. They agreed that would be fine.
I talked to KL and told her by the teacher's results and my results it seemed to me that she was just not minding me as much at home as she was her teacher at school. She said "Yeah, maybe." WHAT??? Did you really just agree that you don't mind? I didn't say that, but that's what I thought, haha. I just told her that her Dad would be calling tonight to talk to her about this situation. At this point, I just want to throw my hands up and scream! Maybe it is hormones, maybe there is something to it, or maybe my patients has just run out, haha. Either way, I don't feel as guilty about the punishments/groundings she has had at home since apparently she needed some of it, haha.
Am I the only one who has trouble with their kids following directions? Have I just said so much over the years and let her change my mind with things enough times that she feels she doesn't have to listen? I still think there is something going on, but I just can't put my finger on it. I still think that she has ADD, even if it is a mild case (which I knew it wasn't severe to begin with). I still just don't know what to do to fix the problems. Anyone else had any experience with this in a mild form that has some tips that doesn't include medication since James and I neither one like that idea?
Virginia Janette McCuan Breeding
2 days ago
6 comments:
Kids are just soo unpredictable. My two couldn't be more different, but yet they are so similar. I find that mine do better when we stay on the same routine everyday. When they know what's coming, they tend to behave better. However, anything is liable to happen around here.
KL sounds very intelligent, but laid back. Those are good qualities. Kids that freak out all the time sabotage themselves. I have one that is more apt to freak, and one that isn't. My oldest has a much harder time because of it. The best advice I've got is too be consistent, reward good behavior and find a punishment that makes her think. I have one, that time out works great because he doesn't like to stop ever. My oldest, I always could raise my voice and/or spank and it would help alot. My 7 year old could care less if I spanked him. Kids are just really different, what works for one won't work for the other. To me the trick is figuring it out. Which makes for alot of gray hair...lol
KL is laid back. I am the one that makes us stick to a set schedule for my sanity, haha. Our routine is very structured and I wonder if it is having the opposite effect on her. The more structured we are, the better I am so maybe it makes her worse?
I don't know either...lol...but I do know that she has a Moma that cares, and that is the most important thing she could have...:)
Thanks! I never feel like I do enough, haha. I guess we all feel that way sometimes tho. Today I do feel better about it. I just wish I could snap my fingers and know exactly what the problem is and how to fix it.
Well, my youngest son has ADHD. I felt just like you. We even have the same rule.. "If I have to pick up your toys, then they go into the trash" Nothing worked. His handwriting was horrible (of course he was in kindergarten at the time) He would get side tracked very easily and would not mind. I knew we had a problem when he was in the hall for talking and he was hitting his head on the wall. The counselor asked what he was doing and he told her he wanted to kill himself (knock himself out) so he wouldn't talk or move all the time. Mornings are the worst. I can't get anywhere on time because of him.
I was just like you in not wanting to give medicine. But, after working with the doctor and finding the right one, things are so much better. He doesn't eat much at lunch but he eats a good breakfast and dinner. And the medicine he is on didn't change him. He is not a zombie... That was my worst fear. But I didn't lose my baby. He is the same little boy as he was before, with the exception of being able to focus on tasks better. Also he knows when he hasn't had it and he now ask for it when he feels that he's not focusing in the mornings... Hope this helps. Good luck!!
I agree with Ms. Campell's comment. We found out in Kindergarten that our son had ADD but didn't agree to put him on medicine until 1st grade. We were sincerely against any medication but finally agreed to pursue it because we thought it would make it easier for him. We tried Straterra first because it was the only non-stimulant drug out. It did not change him at all and he still ate normally (good breakfast, light lunch, and good dinner). Just recently we've switched to Adderall (after 5 years the Straterra wasn't working anymore) and are amazed with the results! When getting ready in the mornings I only have to say things once and they click. Whereas before... well, you're number of 50,000 sounds about right. I get where you're coming from and understand what you're going through. As for not wanting to medicate, it's understandable. Been there too. I agree with Waynette. Routine is key!!! Good Luck with this new diagnosis and remember this: God must think you're pretty special to give you such a child. He only puts challenges into the hands in which He knows can handle them!
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