The house, children and ADD

My house needs help. I don't know what to do. Bending isn't as easy as it was even a couple weeks ago. I really wish there was an easier way to clean the bathroom, haha. Everything requires bending. The shower/tub, the toilet, the floor all require bending over. Ball practice three times a week has also taken a toil on my body, haha. I am really trying not to complain much about how miserable and tired I am with this pregnancy. It doesn't help any at all and honestly, I know no one wants to hear complaints anyway.

I went to the doctor yesterday for my weekly visit. I had not made any more progress. We went ahead and scheduled an induction for April 30th "just in case". Today I am 38 weeks. I really wouldn't mind having her next Wednesday if any of you know how to put that order in for me, haha!

My appointment yesterday was at 9:30. Apparently my clock was 5 minutes off as I got there 5 minutes late. Lucky for me, there is a friend of mine who is using the same doctor and happened to be in for her appointment yesterday too. She was already in the back when I arrived, but her hubby was in the waiting room. We were able to visit for about 30 minutes to pass the time until A was finished and they were on their way. About 40 minutes of more waiting and I was really wondering why they punish someone so much for only being 5 minutes late when the clerk informed me that Dr was on call this week and had been called in to the hospital for an emergency. That was the reason for my long wait and it would probably be better if I came back that afternoon or Thursday. The thought of driving an hour back home and doing it all again the next day just really didn't sound good at all! I picked taking a long lunch and going back at 1:00. From then on, all went well.

I was asked if I would allow a student nurse follow me through the rest of my pregnancy and delivery. For education sake, I said sure! She was at the appointment yesterday also and this was the first time I met and talked to her. She is really nice. I have heard horror stories about student nurses coming in while you are in labor and more than one doing the same things over and over. It is my understanding that I will have only one and she will be at my side (opposite James) holding my hand. I figured since there is a possibility James won't make it home in time, it would be nice to have someone there with me. I haven't talked to any other person or family member about coming with me in case James isn't there because I, honestly, just don't think I want anyone else in the room with me. Of course, my mother would be my choice and I just don't think I would handle that well. So, if James doesn't make it me and the student nurse, Amanda, will be just fine :) Also, she told me that if I happen to go into labor any Mon-Wed, she will be like my "private nurse" for my entire hospital stay. I just laughed and told her that sounded great and all, but I was pretty much an independant person and wouldn't want her hanging around too much, haha.

I did talk to KL's teacher and counselor yesterday about ADD. Here are some examples of what happens at home.

First things in the morning I have to tell her 50,000 times to get her clothes on. She will get a shirt then be off on something else, shirt in hand, and forget she is to look for pants. When she finally has all her clothes picked out, she will put on her shirt then decide she is thirsty. Get a drink and on the way back to the living room with it, set it on the kitchen table because she noticed Bubba is running around with his bone. She will start to chase him and I will ask her if she ever got a drink. She will say yes, but she forgot to drink it. She will go back and get her drink and 20 minutes after she picked out her clothes still only has on her shirt. Of course, this is just an example and I tell you it is constantly like this at our house. She would be naked, starved, and dehydrated if I didn't remind her that she was getting dressed, eating, or drinking before she got distracted. If it is something she doesn't want to do, it can take her hours to complete a task.

I have made it a point to notice more over the last month. Another example... She had three toys in her floor. A stuffed animal, a barbie doll, and a book. Her teacher had recommended trying a timer so I thought, now is a good time to try it. I told her I was setting the timer for 10 minutes and she was to pick up the three toys in her floor and put them away. She said she understood and I left the room. This is WAY more than enough time to put the three things away. I went in after 5 minutes and her bed was COVERED with stuffed animals and she was "arranging" (more like playing to me) them on the bed. I told her that would not work to put them all way because she would not have a bed covered with stuffed animals. When the timer went off, I went into her room. The book was still in the floor. Only half the stuffed animals had returned to their box and she was sitting in the floor playing with the barbie doll plus 50 of her friends. I asked her why in 10 minutes her room looked worse than when she started. She said she never got to the book. When she was returning the stuffed animals to their box in the closet she stepped on the Barbie. When she picked up the Barbie to put it away, she decided to change her Barbie's clothes really fast and then forgot to stop playing and finish her task.

It has made me mad for the last 6 years (when she reached the age she should be following instructions somewhat) that she doesn't seem to follow instructions well and have tried different forms of punishment. We have even told her that she is old enough to clean her room on her own and if she doesn't, whatever toys are left in the floor at bedtime goes in the trash. At bedtime, when all her toys are out, she will cry and say she tried but couldn't do it alone. I even thrown a few things out just to prove my point, but it doesn't change. We have taken toys away, taken privileges away, grounded, talked, and all it has gotten me is more confused as to what to try next.

I had talked to my mother and told her I suspected ADD (NOT ADHD), but have been in denial about it. My mother agreed and said I should talk to the school. At school, her teacher says she sits quietly and doesn't distract others at all, but still can't get her work completed timely. "She daydreams" were her teachers exact words yesterday. I asked her if she thought ADD was a possibility. She laughed and said "Yes, many times but since she has had this issue for so long and no other teacher mentioned it I didn't want to." I politely explained that maybe it was best she did because maybe all the other teachers didn't want to either for the same reason and I am feeling like a really bad mom now because I really think she has this condition and I have been punishing her for years when it is a disorder she can't help. The counselor gave me a "home form" and the teacher a "school form" and asked us to answer questions based on KL's work. I returned mine today and get to wait for the results.

Both of them really think she shows signs now that we have all talked about it. I don't feel as alone. Especially since my mother seems to back me up also. My biggest fear is the medicine. I don't want her treated for hyperactivity at all. I do not want a zombie for a child. I do not want her eating habits to change. All I want is for her to be able to listen to instructions and follow them without what seems like constant reminders! I do feel horrible for all the punishment she has had to endure if she does have ADD. As I mentioned above (and no, I know my punishments aren't horrible, haha) she has been punished for something that may be just out of her control. I also feel like she has missed out on things at school because of her lack of attention. She is an excellent reader and in the top reading group of her class. She is a very bright and smart student. Her grades are good. She can't spell, but neither can her mother so she gets it honest, haha! I have been proud of her in school, but at the same time she probably could have been doing so much better and had a much more easier time with it if I had faced up to the signs before now. Yeah, I am really beating myself up over all this too.

The good news... If the results from our quizzes come back that she probably does have ADD we will have all summer to find the right medicine and dosage that is right for her over the summer and third grade will be easier with a lot less parent/teacher conferences. I have been told it is a big jump now from 2nd to 3rd grade and at least we got together on this now instead of later. I can't imagine how much I would be beating myself up if I had waited even one more year to face the facts.